Crooked Little Vein Review

There are not enough words in the English language to describe how epic this book is. But I will do my best. Being a fan of Ellis' other works, I was as excited as a kid in a candy store about reading it, and on the day I bought it, I thought I'd get home after closing at work and sit down and read a few chapters and then go to bed. I started reading it at 1130pm... and finished reading it at 345am. I could simply not put it down.

Vol 1 of Transmet

Crooked Little Vein is the first novel from Warren Ellis, the same great mind who brought us the Transmetropolitan, The Authority, Fell, and Planetary graphic novel series, as well as numerous stand-alone issues of X-Men, Scarlet Avengers, Storm Watch and Batman comics. And probably many more that I don't know about. If you don't know about Mr. Ellis, if you head out to left field and then dig a 50 ft hole in the ground, you'll find him. He has a definite voice that is all his own, and may not be for everyone. If you're easily offended or disturbed, Crooked Little Vein may not be for you. If you find a copy of it on a bookstore shelf (it's in the mystery section), and read the author blurbs on the back of the book, you'll get an small idea of what type of literary ride you're going to be taken on. But if you want to read something that is deliciously deviant, perverse and makes you think while it takes aim at the "Old Boys' Club" of American politics, then this book is for you. 


Crooked Little Vein is a great story about Michael McGill, a down-and-out private investigator who gets head-hunted by some mysterious government men and send him on a cross country trip in search for the second real Constitution that the U.S. government has kept hidden from the public since the inception of the country. The state of the country has steadily gone downhill and the Powers That Be in the capitol have decided to dig it up and use it to get the country back on track. However... the Powers That Be have lost their special Constitution. And that's where Michael comes in. For reasons that even Michael doesn't even fully understand, the government wants him to go find it. Suddenly Michael is sent on a twisted trip into the deepest, darkest, most perverse levels of the American underground. He teams up with an unconventional partner who helps him navigate the skanky underbelly of the American Dream. I wish I could explain more about what exactly Michael saw and experienced... but that would take all the fun out of the book. The only thing I'll say is: saline-injected scrotum. 

READ. IT. NOW.

Yeah. You read that right. 


The perversity of the book, the unnerving topics and insinuations that Ellis makes in the book have been proven to be a little more relevant in today's government and cultural climate than even when the book was published (original publication 2007). The things that he puts in his book about crooked politicians and uber secret government conspiracies, and the government having free reign (or seemingly having free reign), can be seen in today's governmental theater and how the American people are turning on the current government leaders. Leave it to an outsider, a Englishman, to  point out the flaws, out-side-looking-in perceptions, and realities of the American political landscape. Much like how Ellis has many politicians in the book who have secret lives that go contrary to their political platforms (how many sanctity of marriage Republicans have been found to have secret mistresses and love children?), this is an amazing fictionalized look at how not everything is all peaches and cream in our Capitol building. As entertaining and compelling as this book is, it makes you take a step back and think about what's going on around you. Ellis has seems to put a political undertone, or in some cases, overtone in most of his works; using the novel or comic medium to entertain as well as make the reader be aware and think about the world beyond their little sphere. 


I cannot recommend this book highly enough. It is certainly not for everyone, but if you think you're brave enough for Warren Ellis, he will do you right. If you know and are a fan of Ellis and haven't tried his novels yet (yes, I said novels, he has a new one Gun Machine coming out in August of this year), then you will be fine moving into his new medium. 


On my scale of 1 (literary hari kari) to 10 (literary orgasmic bliss), I give this book a very strong 9.8. 


You need to read it. Plain and simple.